Greetings
from Nebraska! This summer I am at
Creighton University in Omaha, Nebraska where I am participating in the Institute for
Priestly Formation (IPF). The program began at
the end of May with a brief introduction class explaining how to prepare for an eight day
silent retreat. And then, the retreat
began! It has been a few weeks since the
retreat has ended, and I have had some time to begin processing everything that
happened. As the summer continues, I will continue to unpack this wonderful
experience. To make this a little easier, I will first outline my "daily schedule” and then explain what the retreat was
like for me personally.
The
schedule below is how I structured my days on retreat:
6:45
a.m. – Wake up, Morning Prayer, and get ready for the day
7:45 a.m. – Holy Hour #1
9:15
a.m. – Spiritual Direction
10:45
a.m. – Mass
11:30
a.m. – Lunch
12:15 p.m. - Holy Hour #2
1:30
– 3:00 p.m. – Exercise and Relax
3:30 p.m. – Holy Hour #3
4:45
p.m. – Dinner
5:45
p.m. – Evening Prayer
6:30
p.m. – Conference
7:30
p.m. – Read
8:45 p.m. - Holy Hour #4
10:00
pm – Night Prayer and Bed
Each
retreatant’s schedule varied, but this is how I was able to develop some
structure and balance to each day. The
retreat structure itself was very basic and included Mass and an evening
conference. Every other aspect of a retreatant’s schedule was tailored to
them. As you can see, I met with my Spiritual Director once a day and followed the recommendation of praying four
holy hours a day.
The
schedule I created allowed me to see more clearly how God was working
throughout my day. In order to enter
into the silence of the retreat, I gave my phone and laptop to my Spiritual
Director. This was not easy to do, but
it eliminated any distractions and made entering into the silence much easier. The silence which I feared before the retreat
truly became a blessing as the week progressed.
This
retreat was like none I had ever gone on before. Not only was it very serious, but I took the
time and changed my attitude to be on “vacation with God” rather than just
being on a “vacation.” This initial
attitude adjustment allowed me to refocus my attention from selfish motives to
a posture of being receptive to what God has in store for me. Thankfully I did this because God sure had a
lot to share with me over the eight days! I received many graces from God during the retreat. In the weeks following, I continue to receive those many graces. I am so thankful that I had this experience
to slow down from the business of seminary life and to focus exclusively on my
prayer life.
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| Creighton University |
I learned how to pray a
holy hour on the retreat, not just one but four. Before
I got here I could barely make it through one holy hour without trying to “fill
up the time.” In my time before
endeavoring into the Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius of Loyola, I
conceived a Holy Hour as a time that was restricted to sitting before the
Blessed Sacrament struggling to find words to say to God. During the retreat, my eyes were opened to
find Christ around me at all times as
He is with us always. This expanded view of a Holy Hour that is not
limited to sitting in a set environment each day, but rather admiring the
beauty of God’s creation. Now that the retreat has ended I do one holy hour a day and am committed to making that full
hour happen every day. As I have
learned, prayer is all about relationship.
When
it comes to relationships, we know that expressing our thoughts, feelings, and
desires are important. God is interested
in hearing us share with him our own thoughts, feelings, and desires. Personally, I am not one to talk about my
feelings, let alone even try and find words that describe them. On retreat, I was able to change this
struggle of mine by finding a new vocabulary in which to express interior
movements and deepen my relationship with the Lord. By sharing with the Lord what was happening
in my life, I became even more aware of how present He is during my day. I was then faced with a tough question: Do I
really want to be this close in relationship with the Lord or do I want to turn
back to my old selfish ways that have always left me feeling empty? In all of our lives, we have a choice to make:
turn to God in the good and the bad times, or turn to ourselves and our
egos. God has the power to heal us, but
we have to give him permission to do such things. We have the ability and
freedom to reject His love and try to self-medicate. The truth is, in our free surrender to the
Lord, newness of life can come forth.
Therefore,
I find myself contemplating a question that Jesus poses in the Gospel of Saint
Matthew. Put simply, what do I
desire? The Gospel says, “For where your
treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:21). During the retreat, I came face to face with
this startling question. Do I truly
desire God, and God alone, or do I turn to myself and my own selfish wants and
desires that I know cannot and will not truly please me. We all have a desire to be loved and a major
first step in our prayer life is to accept that God loves us. When we truly accept this, we realize that
God is desiring to enter more deeply into relationship with us. Therefore, we may also enter into a deeper
relationship with Him.
The retreat for me was allowing God to
love me and building a solid foundation on which my relationship with the Lord
stands and is rooted. This relationship
with the Lord has allowed God to love me, heal me, and change my heart so that
now I can say I desire what Saint Paul describes which is to “put on the new
man, who is being renewed in knowledge after the image of his creator”
(Colossians 3:10). The retreat has given
me a strong desire not only to be Catholic but to be a Saint. As I continue on this journey of faith, I
will always take with me the many encounters I had with our Lord during this
retreat and the weeks that have followed. I ask the Lord and pray that the Holy Family – Jesus, Mary, and Joseph –
may continue to teach me how to pray so that I may always do the will of our
loving Father.
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Robert Dogal, a seminarian for the Diocese of Scranton, just finished Pre-Theology II at Cathedral Seminary House of Formation, Douglaston, New York. This summer he is at Creighton University in Omaha, Nebraska for the Institute for Priestly Formation (IPF).
He is from St. Ignatius of Loyola Parish, Kingston.
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| Creighton University |
Robert Dogal, a seminarian for the Diocese of Scranton, just finished Pre-Theology II at Cathedral Seminary House of Formation, Douglaston, New York. This summer he is at Creighton University in Omaha, Nebraska for the Institute for Priestly Formation (IPF).
He is from St. Ignatius of Loyola Parish, Kingston.